Stork Swap!

[malachiical]

Hello, Stork Swap creator! Thank you for writing for me! I'm Mal or Mali (malachiical @ AO3 as well); I'll try to keep each individual section of this letter brief, and you should be able to skip to wherever you like with anchor links and/or just expand the parts relevant to you via cut. I hope our ids align and you have a blast writing, because I'm definitely looking forward to whatever you come up with!

General DNWs
General Likes
Porn Likes
Marvel (Comics) - Quentin Beck/J. Jonah Jameson & Baby
The Spectacular Spider-Man (Cartoon) - Pregnant Quentin Beck/Phineas Mason; Quentin Beck/Pregnant Phineas Mason; Quentin Beck/Phineas Mason & Baby
Vampire Cleanup Department (2017) - Yip Chi Chau/Yeung Chung & Baby

General DNWs

• incest
• noncon/dubcon
• underage
• gore, permanent injury, character death (unless otherwise stated)
• infidelity
• halves of the pair feeling like they really just don't like or care about each other at all (even with more complicated stuff I am a BIG SOPPY ROMANTIC)
• the pairing having sexualities that mean they aren't attracted to one another
• being ashamed of or hating one's body (even for trans stuff, if you write it; just no focus on dysphoria please)
• unhappy endings
• unrequested AUs (canon divergence is fine)
• unrequested identity headcanons (mentions for OCs are fine)
• unrequested noncanon ships (background canon ships that don't break up the requested pairing are fine; mentions of OCs being in relationships with one another is fine)
• unrequested poly (mentions of OCs being in poly relationships with one another is fine)
• unnecessary use of safewords or stoplight symbols
• feederism, weight gain, inflation
• scat, watersports, vomit (mentions of someone throwing up not in a kink context are fine), vore, bestiality, choking/breathplay, somnophilia, mommy- or daddykink, 24/7 D/S
• canon-specific DNWs and exceptions in the fandom sections!

General Likes

• fic rated from G through E!
• pining and culmination of pining: getting together, kissing, romantic tension/UST being resolved! I am into all ratings for these fics legit
• fluff, snapshot moments of what's going on in their lives
• romantic tension, UST that eventually becomes resolved
• flirting, confident or awkward or just fuckin disastrous
• extreme loyalty
• redemption arcs, gray morality, general complexity, lighter takes on villains & villain redemption
• hurt/comfort
• happy or at least hopeful/somewhat upbeat endings
• first times and milestones (sexual or non, doesn’t even have to be overly romantic, stuff like taking a photo for the first time together or and the like is also good!)
• I really do love age gaps tbh and find older characters hot & also love when the other characters do... in SSM I can easily imagine Otto being in his 30s or early 40s while Adrian is in his 60s and Electro in his 20s, and Phineas Mason being in his 50s while Beck is in his 30s or 40s (maybe Chameleon somewhere between them or around Quentin's age?); in Vampire Cleanup Department Chau is probably meant to be in his 50s with Chung in his 70s; I can't quite age comics Quentin Beck but J. Jonah Jameson might well be older than him, you could go either way with that! and it's not an age gap but I am also into Nathan and Adrian finding each other attractive/hot!
• descriptions of making out tbh
• trans headcanons where it’s not A Thing in the fic, no coming out or explanations necessary, or it's just accepted and not super dwelled on unless the prompt is about self-exploration. no Having To Deal With Bigotry or issuefic or anything, just character(s) happen(s) to be trans (both same gender/pronouns as in canon and different gender/pronouns are fine)
• canon divergent AUs, change one thing about a canon and maybe other things happen differently
• more canon-specific likes in the fandom sections!
• art treats always welcome!

Porn Likes

• first times and milestones
• frot, scissoring, intercrural, grinding against ass, basically all that stuff
• handjobs, fingering, oral
• romantic smut, lots of touching, focus on touching/wanting to touch and sensations and body parts, loving descriptions of partner's body (description of both stereotypically attractive and not stereotypically attractive features welcome so long as they're INTO it!), kissing during sex, hand-holding during sex, eye contact during sex, all that stuff!
• clothed sex, partially clothed sex, and clothing kink!
• inexperience, awkward, clumsy but eager and enjoyable sex
• XENO. xeno xeno xeno I am so into xeno, play around with alien genitalia and I am here for it, tentacles, cloacas, characters having both sets of genitalia, ovipositors, genitals resembling flowers or wet pinecone dick, Mouths Down There, legit whatever you can think of just g o f o r i t
• BDSM tones, mild or more formal
• praise kink and instructions/requests/begging flavors of dirty talk
• mutually enjoyed/kinked-on breeding kink dirty talk when actual pregnancy is outright impossible and does not happen
• manhandling, hair pulling, love bites and scratches, rough but not outright painful (or only pleasantly painful) sex
• orgasm delay (though not total denial), edging
• alternately, multiple orgasms, "forced" orgasms that are still enjoyable
• e n t h u s i a s m and detailed descriptions of sex, just go for it
• in general, prefer the terms: penis, cock, dick, length; nipples, ass, and testicles/balls can just be called those things; vagina, vulva, cunt, or pussy if that comes up; come or cum are both fine spellings
• piv in trans smut is fine; oral and pia sex super welcome, alternatives are also loved; prefer for vagina to be called vagina, cunt, or pussy, or to be referred to vaguely, not "hole"; prefer for ass NOT to be called a vagina/cunt/pussy, but referred to vaguely & implied to be one is fine, or just called ass; fine with clit being called clit or penis/cock/dick, fine with penis being called penis/cock/dick or hen or clit
• porn is always welcome!

Marvel (Comics)
Quentin Beck/J. Jonah Jameson & Baby

[Where you can find the comics: Here!
Most Pertinent Issues:
Five times J. Jonah Jameson worked with or created a supervillain - The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issues #20, #25, #58, #82, and Annual 10
Two times Mysterio used Jameson to target Spider-Man - The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issues #13 and #24
That time Quentin Beck ran a nursing home and didn't need to try to protect May and Peter but did - The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issues #193-199
Mysterio just avoiding ever causing actual deaths - The Spectacular Spider-Man (1976) Issues #50-51, Questprobe Issue #2, Symbiote Spider-Man (2019) Issue #1, The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #311]

I just love how weirdly tied to Jameson and the Bugle a lot of Mysterio's earliest career and attempts at defeating Spider-Man are! First Quentin Beck pretends to be Spider-Man, then once the Bugle turns the city against him, he sends J. Jonah Jameson specifically a note "saying he could get rid of Spider-Man single-handed" to get a meeting with him and gets Jonah totally on his side to the point of being basically heralded as a hero! Then about 2 years later, after Jameson again turns the people of New York against Spider-Man (unprompted this time), Beck contacts Jameson and the Bugle again pretending to be a renowned European psychiatrist named Dr. Ludwig Rinehart, convincing him that Spider-Man is on the verge of going insane and then proceeding to try to gaslight Spider-Man into thinking he's nuts and revealing his secret identity to him.

The fact that Quentin Beck keeps going to J. Jonah Jameson and the Bugle, and Jonah keeps eagerly helping despite not knowing the score because he just hates Spider-Man THAT MUCH, combined with the fact that in multiple other storylines Jonah has actually created supervillains in an attempt to bring down Spider-Man, makes me think the two could actually get along really well. Especially since Mysterio's crimes, according to some issues of canon, just don't have a body count, and at some points (like in the arc where he's secretly in charge of a nursing home) even his attempts to kill Spider-Man are totally illusory and he's actually unnecessarily protective of innocent people.

Speaking of which, part of why I really enjoy these two is how close to the line both of them are. J. Jonah Jameson is deep down a kind man but is also a little bit willing to compromise his newspaper to take down Spider-Man and even, as mentioned, goes so far as to commission and create supervillains to try to take Spider-Man down. Quentin Beck is a supervillain who is also careful not to actually kill anyone (and is crushed the first time someone accidentally dies during one of his crimes) and who has tried to retire multiple points in his career, who seems mostly to be treating supervillainy as a game. They both hate Spider-Man and neither of them is actually that bad a person, but one of them happens to be a supervillain, and I find that kind of great. I could love Jonah taking that final step into supervillainy, or just being willing to work and sleep with and romance with Quentin even while he's Mysterio... I could also really love the idea of Quentin trying to go straight and do something other than supervillainy and getting support from Jonah, who once believed in and gave a chance to Foswell even after the whole Big Man situation. Any of those scenarios could be nice!

Requested Tags

• Baby Is a Robot Made by Character A
• character finds a baby left on doorstep of workplace
• Not in relationship with babydaddy
• Partners Raising One Person's Child from Previous Relationship
• Pining Is Interupted By Surprise Doorstep Baby

These are the "where did the baby come from?" tags and there's a lot of different things you could do here! For the first one... Well, Beck is A, just canonically. It can be known from the start that the baby is a robot or it can be something that comes out in the story, but at one point in the comics Beck actually did make a robot daughter for himself because he wanted a daughter so bad; you don't have to use that as a canon event in the story but there's precedent is what I'm saying! In this case the robot would be an actual baby, I'd prefer for the baby to have real advanced AI and be basically exactly like a real baby (so no "it's not really alive"), maybe Beck has designs to upgrade the robot as the baby ages so that the baby can "really grow up"? For "left on doorstep of workplace," obviously the most obvious workplace is the Daily Bugle, but it could also work to have a baby left on the doorstep to one of Beck's hideouts or labs. Why would someone leave the baby either place? (Feel free to not explore that if you don't feel like it though!) Admittedly, the babydaddy tag is not really where did the baby come from, but I just wanted to say here, feel free to have this mean an adopted baby and they split up with the previous father, one of them being trans, or having it just be an mpreg situation whether that's totally normal to the universe or not! (In any of these cases it might make more sense for Beck, but feel free to have it be Jameson!) For the child from a previous relationship, that one makes much more sense that it's Jameson's kid; does Beck start helping when they get together or does he start helping and then they get together? Finally, I looove pining fic; again the baby could be left on either of their home doorsteps or at the doorstep of the Daily Bugle or one of Beck's hideouts/labs!

• Babyproofing the Home
• Eponyms and Baby Namesakes
• Panicked New Single Parent A Goes to B for Parenting Advice
• Villain Puts Aside Evil Schemes to Dedicate All Their Time to Family Planning

These are the sort of "preparing for new baby" tags; for these I am fine if the baby isn't born at the very start of the story/hasn't been adopted just yet but feel free to have it taking place when the baby's very young, especially if it's a doorstep baby/accidental baby acquisition situation! Babyproofing either home or a shared home could be incredibly sweet; if Jonah's already raised his son this wouldn't be his first rodeo, either. I do love the idea of discussing baby namesakes! Would Beck have anyone he wants to name the baby after? (Maybe not his parents, but like anyone else? An old friend or a cousin or his uncle or a mentor?) Does he not have any opinions except that Jonah isn't allowed to name this kid John Jonah Jameson a fourth time? (Or maybe this is indeed John Jameson Jr.; that's fine too!) Would Jameson potentially want to name a daughter after his mother Betty, his deceased sister Bernice, or his deceased niece/adoptive daughter Martha? For the "panicked new single parent" tag, it really only makes sense for Beck to go to Jameson for advice; why would he choose Jameson? Are they already close or is Jameson maybe literally the only decent parent Mysterio knows? (This could be a fun alternative to "villain shows up injured on enemy's doorstep because he didn't know where else to go" trope, where instead of "injured" it's "new parent," lol.) Finally, tbh I love the fact that Beck's tried to retire like WAY too many times in the comics, and I can imagine him taking "oh I have a new baby" as a really good excuse to try one more time to put crime way on the back-burner and just concentrate on parenthood, to try to turn his life around. I'd really like that to work in the end, but that doesn't mean there couldn't be trouble along the way... And tbh I love that Jameson has supported criminals trying to reform before (Foswell being the biggest example!) so him encouraging and helping could be sweet!

• Character is scared of having their own family after rough childhood
• character that thought they had zero parenting instincts goes into hardcore protective mode
• Comfort That Character A Will Be a Better Parent than Their Parents
• Fear of Being a Bad Parent
• New Parent Is Terrified of Being a Bad Parent
• Parent nervous due to own difficult upbringing

...Okay, I realize in retrospect that I didn't need to choose all of these because most of them are basically all the same tag. Still. I feel like Beck would definitely be the equivalent of Character A in all of these, since Beck didn't have a great childhood canonically, with an abusive father and a mother who was... seemingly not there, either literally or just of no help or support. I do love Beck being anywhere from nervous to terrified about his own capabilities and whether or not he'll end up fucking up hard, I love the idea of Jameson listening to him and comforting him, and I love the idea of Beck not being sure he'll even have parenting instincts but then getting hardcore protective. It's alllll good, play around with any of this and I'll be thrilled!

• Courting a Hard-to-Win-Over Single Father
• Unpartnered A Gets Baby; B Helps Take Care of Baby; They Get Together

These two tags are like... each the shape of a story and I really like both of those stories. For the first one, "Hard-to-Win-Over" makes me think Jameson, who's kind of an infamous hardass; does he have a newer baby or is this maybe an AU where Beck meets him earlier or his son is born later and this is John Jameson? How hard is he to win over really? What are his soft spots, besides his son? How does Beck court him? As for the other, well, Beck would almost certainly be A since Jameson would be better suited to offer help. Feel free to have Beck get the baby in any (non-evil) way, either adoption or finding one or mpreg or trans pregnancy or robot baby, I'd just prefer no fridged mother. Just, however it happens, the two of them get closer and then get together. Super simple storyline but I'm a sucker for it!

• Late Night Conversations About (Future) Parenting
• Overstressed Early Parenthood Sex
• Parents and Baby Bonding

And these are just tags that I find sweet or hot. I love the intimacy of late night conversations in general, and having it be about parenting, whether they're talking about one of them parenting (maybe Beck expressing worries and/or Jameson giving advice? or anything else really!) or the both of them parenting together, just adds this sweet element to me. Overstressed early parenthood sex could be great, hot, sweet, cute, anything really, and they could both be parenting the baby or just one of them could be the parent and letting off steam (are they together or FWB or, like, uncertain associates but with benefits?). And finally I like the "Parents and Baby Bonding" tag because it can be read as the parents bonding with the baby but also it can have an element of the parents bonding with each other, and I'd love if you leaned into that, especially if they're not together (yet)!

Canon-Specific DNWs

• Quentin Beck being written as a purposeful or unrepentant killer, delusional, or just in general "criminally insane" or as irredeemably evil
• infidelity (just putting this here to specify to just... handwave Jonah not being married or engaged to or seeing anyone else during whatever time the story is set)
• anything related to that one Webspinners comic

Canon-Specific Likes

• both of them being sweet under the fronts they put forward
• how some of Beck's various schemes got the Bugle involved, and therefore Jameson...
• bonding over disliking Spider-Man
• supervillains who retire and actually go into something else
• if Jameson is the parent, feel free to have the baby be either a new baby or have it be an AU where Beck meets Jameson earlier or his son is born later and just have it be John Jameson! I don't mind just the timeline being adjusted either, it can be John or not no matter what, it's no problem whatever you want to go with.
• if there's some ??? about where a baby came from feel free to have it be a robot baby (if Beck is the parent), a doorstep baby/accidental baby acquisition situation, adoption, a trans pregnancy, mpreg, etc. I'd just prefer not a situation with a fridged mother if Beck's the single parent.
• nicknames! pet names! I could really enjoy Jonah and Quentin using kinda cheesy endearments for each other, tbh, like sweet, sweetheart, darling, once they actually become a thing...
• if you're interested, I like trans headcanons for these characters, especially Quentin but you're welcome to do something with Jonah! anything works for either of them, nonbinary or trans man or trans woman, though Jonah having a son with his wife might mean he's not a trans man. and of course trans headcanons aren't obligatory!

The Spectacular Spider-Man (Cartoon)
Pregnant Quentin Beck/Phineas Mason
Quentin Beck/Pregnant Phineas Mason
Quentin Beck/Phineas Mason & Baby

[Where you can find the series: Here!
Most Pertinent Episodes:
For the two together - S1E10 (Persona); S2E1 (Blueprints); S2E3 (Reinforcement)
For Phineas - S2E4 (Shear Strength); S2E9 (Probable Cause) (scene at the beginning)
For Quentin - S2E12 (Opening Night) (admittedly just for the robot reveal tbh)]

THESE TWO MAKE ME HAPPY. When we're first introduced to them they're the kinda grouchy-seeming professionals working with Chameleon and playing a dumb card-flicking game in "bisexuals can't sit normally" fashion while they wait. They're basically Chameleon's backup in that episode, and you don't get to see fully what they're like until the second season, but I really like the juxtaposition of how they are in this episode as compared to later ones! (Personally, I feel as if neither of them had their supervillain identities at all until somewhere between "Persona" and "Blueprints" when the Master Planner hired them. I also feel that they'd been working together for at least a little while before their introductory episode, though who was the first to work with who, out of the three of them, and for how long, is totally up to you. Also up to you whether they usually call each other by first name or last name, and how often they call each other by supervillain name nowadays!)

Quentin Beck used to be a special effects technician before leaving for his life of crime, and he's got a very interesting balance between his real self and the Mysterio act that I find really fun! He's a professional and Mysterio is an overly-theatrical fuckin dork, but Quentin is also deep down (and not so deep down) a theatrical dork. I can imagine that Quentin puts some of the things he wants to be into Mysterio, because that's common for supervillains and superheroes both, but Mysterio is also a role he plays for a specific purpose: misdirection, keeping people focused on him rather than his tricks or the crimes his act is distracting away from! That said, he got hired to be Mysterio for the thefts and then just decided that was fun as hell and absolutely wanted to do from then on, so there's also that element to him. I feel like he's also enjoying getting to be center stage as Mysterio in a way he doesn't get to be on jobs with Chameleon. Phineas Mason, on the other hand, is an inventor who rolls his eyes at "actors" being theatrical but is absolutely theatrical himself even if he won't admit it. I don't think he's an actor, not in the way that Chameleon and Quentin are; he was wayyy in the background in "Persona" in non-speaking roles whenever his presence was necessary out in the field, and he seems to prefer to stay back and provide "technical support" and make things for other people to use. But he obviously has fun leaning into the mad scientist supervillain act at least a little ("allow me to introduce our host and benefactor"; "welcome to your lair, Master Planner"; "all that remains is calibration... and testing") and occasionally amuses himself making dorky jokes ("put even more 'ric' in your 'ochet'"). I also imagine he has no criminal record (the arrest at the end of "Persona" didn't seem to stick and one of the cops did say in the first episode that the people Spider-Man apprehends nearly always walk...) and is staying in the background to avoid getting one for as long as possible, because him being able to work within the law is really convenient for them.

Basically, though, I love the dynamic of two characters who are just doing this shit because they love it, who've been working together a while and are developing supervillain personas kind of simultaneously mostly for the fun of it. I have a feeling Tinkerer made most of the robots and tech that Mysterio uses, though Quentin himself also contributed the "will-weaking" gas and the mask and makeup for his own android. (Which also means that the reason Quentin is just never arrested after "Persona" and it's always a goddamn android is thanks to Phineas, which makes me smile.) Phineas might not even charge him for that stuff! Just in general they're basically married and I love that.

Requested Tags

• accidental baby acquisition leads to relationship
• Baby Is a Robot Made by Character A
• Baby Left on Their Doorstep in the Middle of the Night
• Mad Scientist Clones Baby; Drops Them Off on Someone Else’s Doorstep
• Pining Is Interupted By Surprise Doorstep Baby

These tags mostly cover the "& Baby" possibility and how they might have gotten said baby! For one, accidental baby acquisition. Is this a doorstep baby, one they find somewhere else, one that falls into their lap somehow while on a job? (I do not want either of them, Chameleon, or preferably any of the Sinister Six to be responsible for orphaning the baby.) Obviously for this tag, they wouldn't be together beforehand... For the baby being a robot, Character A would almost certainly be Mason, but I wouldn't mind if building the robot was a joint effort (I imagine Beck is the one who makes the androids actually look human); I also would not mind if the baby is one of the homunculi who is given (or accidentally gets?) AI that is much more advanced than the others'! For the doorstep baby options, is the baby dropped on the doorstep of one of their hideouts? Who left it there? They might never find out; for the Mad Scientist option I'm imagining Miles Warren winding up with a baby and going "oh, no, I'm not raising this" and dropping it off elsewhere (is it a clone of one of them, of Warren himself, of Spider-Man, of one of the other major characters?). And of course for the final tag there is pining so they're not already together... is it mutual pining or is one pining for the other and the other develops feelings while they're raising a baby together?

• Accidental Mpreg - Didn't Know He Was Mpregnable
• Anxiety over pregnancy that should be impossible
• Finding Too Late That The Unknown Artifact You Touched Made You Gain A Womb And Become Impregnable
• Impossible mpreg mistaken for serious medical condition; bewilderment at finding the true cause
• Male Character A Delighted to Figure Out How to Get Pregnant Through SCIENCE!
• Mpreg caused by aliens or alien technology
• Pregnancy as result of noncon science experiment; love interest offers help

And these tags mostly cover the two pregnancy options and are kind of the "how did this happen" tags combined with the general mpreg tags. The Accidental Mpreg tag, the Anxiety tag, and the Impossible mpreg tag are all situations where mpreg really isn't a thing in-universe and maybe there's not even an explanation for why this is happening, or you can BS any explanation you want! I'd prefer they come around to things on the anxiety one at least enough to want to keep the pregnancy despite uncertainty; also feel free to have the person who's pregnant be the anxious one, the one who's not actually be the more anxious one, or both. As for the unknown artifact tag, maybe is something they were hired to steal by someone? (My first thought was that they're called off the mission partway through but not before one of them has touched it, maybe because the person who hired them realized what the artifact does or its side-effects? But feel free to go with anything else!) I don't mind at all if they have sex with each other or if the one who's now impregnable has a one night stand with some stranger/OC. For the pregnancy through SCIENCE! tag, I just love the idea of a character being delighted to figure out how to get mpregnant in a world where that's usually impossible, it's nice. I also would not mind if instead of being a male character whoever is pregnant is presented as nonbinary or a trans woman. Also, the science can probably be bullshit by the Tinkerer but either could work as Character A! I just love that one being done on purpose. As for the aliens/alien technology tag, maybe one of them gets contact with the symbiote and there's some weird side effect even after it's left; maybe they come into contact with the space shuttle that the symbiote melded with and it's done weird things to the tech; maybe they find some crash-landed alien technology or steal some from a place that already has some... Maybe you can have the Tinkerer be an alien in disguise as a human, I don't mind that AU at all either. Finally... noncon science experiment that does biological stuff is always going to make me think of Miles Warren, sorry. Maybe he gets his hands on one of them, maybe due to them trying to steal from the ESU labs for someone? "Love interest" also makes me think they aren't together yet, or that there might be a FWB with feeling situation going on!

• Babyproofing the Criminal Hideout
• Didn't expect to enjoy being pregnant this much
• Everyone Thinks Character Is Only Faking Pregnancy
• Pregnant character continues canon-typical perilous activities
• pretending to be the father to help pregnant person
• Surprisingly Serene Reaction to Finding Out Pregnancy
• unaware of pregnancy until first kicks

These are the tags that probably take place while someone is pregnant, though the first can work for a new baby as well! (Especially a surprise one.) For "Babyproofing the Criminal Hideout," I just love that idea generally and also it's kinda important for these two since they do a lot of work with chemicals, electrical equipment, etc. For "Didn't expect to enjoy being pregnant this much," I don't mind at all if it's a horny thing but I was really thinking it being like... a really pleasant/satisfying feeling when whoever is pregnant didn't really expect it to be? This is especially interesting to me if mpreg is a total surprise/presumed impossible thing and/or if it's a situation where despite being a cis man the pregnancy somehow still feels gender affirming. For the "Everyone Thinks Character Is Only Faking Pregnancy" tag, I imagine that would work best for Beck being pregnant since ~Mysterio is the master of illusion~ and he does a lot of fake-outs, attention-getting stunts, movie makeup magic and special effects. Up to you if "everyone" includes Mason at first, but I'd kinda prefer not due to a "he knows him too well" sort of thing! For canon-typical activities, this works for the more low-key perilous "doing freelance work for dangerous criminals and mob bosses" stuff, the middle-ground "helping Chameleon with the most ridiculous identity theft (and actual theft) missions" stuff, and the "full-on out there in a costume doing crimes and combat with Spider-Man" stuff. Honestly, I am bad at coming up with a situation for the "pretending to be the father to help pregnant person" tag, but I LOVE IT and would love to see what you do with it; I especially love it if they're not a couple yet, whether there was pining (one-sided or mutual) or not before the act! For the surprisingly serene reaction... I just like the concept of that, especially if it's whoever's pregnant kind of rolling with and dealing with it, maybe even being pleased more quickly than expected, maybe even if mpreg was presumed impossible? And finally... "unaware of pregnancy until first kicks" is just super iddy to me, I love that being where someone realizes "um wait."

• Character on parental leave is SO BORED and keeps sneaking into work
• Continuing canon-typical activity while holding newborn

These tags are ones that obviously work best once the baby has been born, though I also wouldn't mind if the first is more leave while pregnant! For the first, I could see it being either of them trying to get work done in the lab especially, or at least wanting to do backup stuff for Chameleon or the Sinister Six, maybe staying back at the hideout or in the van but wanting to stay involved. And again, canon-typical activity could include anything from labwork to "backstage work" providing backup to people in the field to standing guard to actually doing a crime (maybe the baby is even part of a cover story?) and/or fighting Spider-Man! Though I could also enjoy them drawing a line and not wanting to get the baby involved past a certain level of activity...

• Courting Pregnant Love Interest
• Doting Partner(s)
• Friends with benefits while pining further complicated by unplanned pregnancy
• Getting Together While Pregnant
• Heavily pregnant character A is helped out by best friend(s)
• Helping and caring for love interest pregnant with someone else's baby leads to get together
• One Night Stand - Results in accidental pregnancy; love interest helps raise baby (not theirs)
• One Night Stand - they decide to keep & raise the baby & fall in love along the way
• Parents and Baby Bonding
• Pregnant A keeps B's baby because they are in love with B despite believing love to be unrequited
• Totally Platonic Agreement to Conceive a Child [For Reasons] With a Friend; Feelings Ensue
• Unpartnered A Gets Baby; B Helps Take Care of Baby; They Get Together

Okay, I have these labeled as the romance tags; they're basically the circumstances of these two getting/being together and there are a LOT so I will keep each brief! I love how the courting tag and the getting together while pregnant tag implies that they're not a thing before this happens; see other tags for how the love interest might have gotten pregnant. Doting partner(s) is more of an established relationship thing and one doting on the other is just by jam. FWB with pining complicated by unplanned pregnancy IS ALSO MY JAM, I looove the feelings that could come from that, and it could be combined with some other tags too. I love either of them being heavily pregnant, them not being together at the start of the story and the other is definitely their best friend. (Though Chameleon helping too as another best friend is also very welcome!) The "someone else's baby" and the "One Night Stand (not theirs)" tags feel very similar to me; I like the idea of either of them liking hookups sometimes and it just winding up in a totally unexpected pregnancy and the other helping. The one night stand with each other before they're even in love but they decide to keep and raise the baby anyway is just catnip to me and I'd LOVE IT. I really like the "Parents and Baby Bonding" tag because it can be read as the parents bonding with the baby but also it can have an element of the parents bonding with each other, and I'd love if you leaned into that, especially if they're not together (yet)! For the "Pregnant A keeps B's baby" I don't mind who's A and who's B; I admit I initially thought of Mason as A but it works either way, and it works whether it's initially one-sided pining or revealed to be mutual! (Was it a FWB situation or a one night stand?) For the totally platonic agreement, I would LOVE for why they'd want to do that to be explored (are some legal reasons involved?); do they have to science up an ability for one of them to conceive? Feelings ensuing only after the plan is in place is so, so iddy to me, too! And finally, that last tag is a very basic storyline but it's one I LOVE; I don't mind how they get the baby or who is A and B (or if they both get the baby and help each other), so long as baby comes into the picture and then they get together! I'm a sucker for that plot every time.

• Dressing Baby Up in Little Outfits
• Reading to Baby
• Seeing Baby On Ultrasound for the First Time
• Singing to a baby

I labeled this little set of tags "just cute baby things," haha. Basically to give a quick run-down: I really imagine Beck is basically the costume department so I can easily see him specifically loving to dress the baby up, maybe even in clothes he made himself! For reading to baby, what do they choose to read? Normal sorts of things, books they remember from their own childhoods or remember reading to young family members, science texts that are on hand because baby doesn't know the difference, plays or movie novelizations? For seeing baby on the ultrasound for the first time, did they know for sure that they were pregnant before seeing the baby or no? And I can easily imagine Mason building the damn ultrasound machine, heh. Finally, singing to baby I can imagine being Beck singing songs from musicals, but maybe either of them would sing a lullaby they remember, or songs they know their parents sang to them or, like, heard a family member sing to their baby or something?

• Happily pregnant trans character
• Pregnancy Is Somehow Gender Affirming

GENDER TAGS. Honestly, I could imagine either of these tags going more than one way. For the trans character tag, I am comfortable with either of them being a trans man or DFAB nonbinary and being fine with being pregnant. However, I am also interested in the idea of either of them being a trans woman or DMAB nonbinary and figuring out a way to get pregnant (or just having it happen!) and them being happy with that! And for the gender affirming tag, obviously the first thought would be if the pregnant person is a trans woman. However, I could also definitely see a very interesting story where the character is a cis man, a trans man, or any sort of nonbinary, and yet still feels that their pregnancy is gender affirming for them in some way. I'd love to see how you explore any of this!

• Late Night Conversations About (Future) Parenting

I just absolutely love the intimacy of late night conversations in general, and it being about parenting, this new thing either coming up or that they've just recently been dropped into, makes it even better. Whether this is an established relationship, something new they're feeling out, pining, or even feelings just starting to develop while they talk about these new plans together, it could be very intimate and I'd absolutely love for you to lean into that!

• Villain Has to Accommodate Evil Schemes and Family Planning
• Villain Puts Aside Evil Schemes to Dedicate All Their Time to Family Planning

These are two very different possibilities! Honestly, I do think Beck and Mason do what they do for the love of it, because they really have no reason to be career criminals otherwise, they have major skill-sets they could use in other ways, and they do seem to really be enjoying themselves! Figuring out how to balance "evil schemes" (for a given definition of "evil," tbf) and raising/starting a family could work really well for them. On the other hand, I could absolutely see them either retiring or putting their criminal careers on pause for a while if a child came into the picture, so feel free to have fun playing with that discussion/agreement as well!

Canon-Specific DNWs

• any requested character or really any of the Sinister Six being presented as irredeemably crazy/evil
• any of the requested characters or the Sinister Six in general betraying each other (Shocker not included, he's an Enforcer first and foremost, he was just on loan)
• Electro being referred to as anything other than Electro by any of the requested characters or any of the Sinister Six

Canon-Specific Likes

• the Mysteriobots and Tinkerer's inventions in general being pervertable
• having fun with costuming and maybe makeup (kinky or just enjoying slipping into new roles)
• dorky roleplaying with Mysterio and Tinkerer (especially Mysterio)
• the characters having fun with the supervillain/criminal team thing
• noncanon background pairings I actually enjoy if they happen to come up: Doctor Octopus/Vulture(/Electro), Sandman/Rhino
• generally I like Sinister Six poly even if it's not the focus, actually, if the Sinister Six are included
• Chameleon being involved in their lives, helping and supporting the pregnant party, and even helping with the baby, even without it being an OT3 situation!
• nicknames! pet names! I count Chameleon's habit of referring to literally everyone by surname as this tbh, I like that he calls these two Beck and Mason, and that they call him Chameleon as that seems to be how he wants to be known. I like Electro's habit of calling Doctor Octopus "Doc" and Vulture "Vulch"; if he shows up in the fic, maybe he calls them "Mysty" and/or "Tink"? (If so I'd rather they like it than hate it.) I would love them calling each other endearments, them calling each other by surname as well but it still being intimate, them calling each other by supervillain name (teasingly? flirtatiously?), them calling each other by their first names or even Quentin calling Phineas "Phin" is fine. I love any type of this shit.
• honestly I have a feeling Mason is meant to be Hispanic and I'd enjoy fic that mentions that; I enjoy flirtatious use of Spanish endearments and also things like mentioning particular things he might have grown up with/around wrt experiences, music, etc.
• if you're interested, I like trans headcanons for either/both of these characters! I like the idea of Phineas as a trans man (though nonbinary or trans woman are acceptable), and I could see Quentin as anything really, and if Chameleon is included I especially like nonbinary for him. trans headcanons for any other Sinister Six if they show up are also 100% good; I would prefer Electro as a trans woman or nonbinary if you write that character as trans, but anything goes for all the rest of them! and of course trans headcanons aren't obligatory!

Vampire Cleanup Department (2017)
Yip Chi Chau/Yeung Chung & Baby

[Where you can find the movie: Here!
(turn on the English closed captions in the bottom right if you need them; it's also available in Spanish!)
Or for free on Youtube with hard-coded English subtitles!
Also, enjoy these gifs as an enticement to get into this canon (with some spoilery moments) :D]

Vampire Cleanup Department is a Hong Kong comedy-horror-romance movie that came out four years ago and short version: The titular VCD is a secret government-created agency that disguises themselves as cleaners but really go around using talismans and other magical items to hunt down and destroy vampires, specifically jiangshi (which means they hop around with their arms outstretched, and this is by turns played as creepy, funny, and cute). But when the main character Tim Cheung joins up after being bitten by a vampire and not turning, he finds out that his dead parents used to work for the VCD until a mission went terribly wrong, and accidentally winds up bonding with a vampire named Summer who starts changing and gaining more human emotions and mentality after biting him. He trains with the VCD while keeping the fact that he didn't actually destroy her when he was supposed to a secret.

I am here for different characters, however! And oh man I am so into them. Yip Chi Chau is Tim's "master," the early-50s-ish combat expert of the VCD who trains Tim in how to fight vampires; he knew Tim's parents and was close friends with his father, Yat Lung Cheung, and promised them that he'd take care of Tim as they were dying. Yeung Chung, or "Uncle Chung," is an older man in his 70s who's the director of the VCD and their "technical support" and a more openly kindly figure.

Where Chau is an incredibly skilled fighter and trainer, Chung is definitely not a combatant... but he is still brave enough to go into the field, and to step in to help people when they're in trouble, and he's great at directing the others during a fight. Where Chau is closed-off and hot-headed, Chung is calm, amiable, and understanding, good at being diplomatic when it's needed (and at distracting people so the others can work)... and also good at calming Chau down and redirecting him. They've worked together for decades, and despite what Chung says multiple times to Chau about training new blood so that they can eventually retire, neither of them seems to be willing to just quit. They know each other incredibly well ("Have I ever misjudged anyone? And you... never mean what you say."), Chau saved Chung and a rookie police officer in the very first scene (while Chung called for his help), when Tim was in trouble Chung called Chau back from a chase...

And in a moment that really got me, when Tim's "final test" went wrong and Chung tried to step in to help him against the vampire that was trying to kill him. Summer showed up to help as well and accidentally flung both the vampire and Chung through a table, and Chau reacted with such immediate alarm to kill the vampire before it could attack Chung! Chung was hurt and needed medical attention, and with Chung hurt and also not around to calm him down, Chau was furious with Tim. (I will also say that during that final test, Chau was acting like a nervous parent... while Chung sat on the couch and video taped everything, also like a parent, haha.)

Even when Tim is the one training the new recruits at the end of the movie, it's Chau and Chung standing on the walkway above watching and obviously still involved despite any talk of retirement, chatting and comfortable with one another. I just really love their shared history, how obvious it is that Chau cares deeply about certain people -- Chung, Tim, and Tim's father in the past -- despite him not saying it or being touchy-feely, and how comfortable with one another they are and how well they work together and know one another as people.

Requested Tags

• Accidental Baby Acquisition - Non-Human Baby
• accidental baby acquisition leads to relationship
• Adoption - Rescued baby sole survivor
• Adoption - Supernatural Entity Gives Them Baby To Raise
• Baby Is Humanoid Magical Being/Creature
• Caring for an Infant of Another Species
• character finds a baby left on doorstep of workplace
• Characters have to take care of orphaned baby for a while and decide to adopt the baby
• Discovering Abandoned Non-Human Child
• Finding and Raising Abandoned Baby
• Parenting A Ghost Child
• Pining Is Interupted By Surprise Doorstep Baby
• Ship that can't naturally aqcuire a baby is gifted a changeling
• Supposedly temporary baby acquisition proves longer term than anticipated

These are all the "what is the baby and/or how do they get the baby?" tags! I will try to keep this reasonably brief. In general, as you may be able to tell, I love the idea of the baby in question not being human! Obviously a few of these examples are specific (ghost child and changeling), but for any of the more general supernatural/magical being or creature/non-human tags, feel free to go with anything you feel might fit! There are jiangshi, obviously (and a jiangshi baby could even work as sort of a callback to the Mr. Vampire franchise), but you could also do something with a dragon child (in the shape of a human or not), a mer-child, a crane person with or without feathered cloak, a fox spirit (huli jing or jiuweihu), a yaoguai/yaomo/yaojing, or really any mythological/non-human creature from any folklore that you feel might fit! And, of course, for some of these tags you could easily have it be a human baby as well...

For the accidental baby acquisition tags, sort of unintended winding up with a child works, whether it's finding one or being handed one or feeling abruptly responsible for one. The "rescued baby sole survivor" and "have to take care of orphaned baby" tags work for a situation where a family was killed by jiangshi (or anything similar) and maybe the VCD feels at least temporarily responsible; a supernatural entity might not give them a supernatural baby, but maybe! "Baby left on doorstep of workplace" feels like the baby was left on the doorstep of the VCD specifically; who/what would have left a baby there and why? Finding and raising abandoned baby raises a lot of questions; where did they find this baby, exactly, and why are they the ones having to take care of it? I looove pining fic and again, the doorstep baby could be left on the doorstep of the VCD, but could also be left on the doorstep of one of the VCD members (either of them, or even one of the others tbh!). For the changeling tag, who would gift them a changeling and why? They could already be together, of course, but it could be even better if they're not and some being is just like "hey congrats have a gift: a baby." And finally, it could be a case of them thinking they're just taking care of a baby temporarily but for whatever reason it lasts longer than they thought (turning permanent, presumably); why? Is it a case of them temporarily taking responsibility for an orphan but some complications arise while simultaneously they become more attached? Is it a case of a non-human baby they have no intention of keeping forever but there's a very real problem to reuniting it with its own kind... and then they get attached?

• Adoptive parent viciously protective
• Character is scared of having their own family after rough childhood
• character that thought they had zero parenting instincts goes into hardcore protective mode
• Fear of Being a Bad Parent
• Moving from Reluctant Parent to Affectionate Parent
• Panicked New Single Parent A Goes to B for Parenting Advice
• Parent nervous due to own difficult upbringing

These tags are basically the "reaction to the baby" tags. For the protective parenting tags, I could love either or both of them being protective, but "thought they had zero parenting skills" would almost 100% be Chau. The tags that bring up rough childhood/difficult upbringing, and even the "Fear of Being a Bad Parent," would probably be Chau as well; Chung has already had at least one child/a family, after all, and you are welcome to fill in Chau's childhood however works best for the story! "Moving from Reluctant Parent to Affectionate Parent" could again work for either/both if you basically had them iffy about taking care of an infant at this point in their lives and while working for the VCD, but could also very easily work for Chau especially, again since Chung's already had a kid. And finally, of course, for the "Panicked New Single Parent" tag, A would certaily be Chau going to Chung for advice; feel free to have him have a kid for any reason (actually got someone pregnant, had a baby left on his doorstep, found a human or non-human baby on a mission) so long as he's not currently in a relationship with anyone.

• Babyproofing the Home

Just noting that I would be happy for this to be either/both of their homes but equally happy for "home" to apply to, like, the VCD building, whether the old building or the apparent upgraded new one!

• Becoming a father late in life

Could apply to either or both of them! Chung is probably in his 70s at the time of the movie, with a granddaughter already, and Chau is probably in his 50s. I could imagine Chau thinking he'd never be a father at this point, and Chung most likely thinking he might get another grandchild but no more children himself at his age.

• Continuing canon-typical activity while holding newborn
• Entering Combat While Holding Baby

They are in dangerous situations with their job, and also just due to vampires (and other things?) existing probably, so even if they don't intend to take an infant on any missions they still might end up doing some shit holding the baby! Maybe shit went down, maybe they had to take the baby into the field for some reason, maybe they actually literally just found the baby and suddenly there's danger! Obviously actual combat would be down to Chau, but Chung directing everything while holding the baby or tracking down a jiangshi is also possible, or one could be holding the baby while the other drives?

• Falling asleep with baby on chest
• Late Night Conversations About (Future) Parenting
• Parents and Baby Bonding

TBH I just labeled this set of tags "I'm soft" while trying to categorize them, heh. So! These are soft moments with the baby or between the ship and I am such a sucker for them. I just love the imagery of someone falling asleep with a baby on their chest; if they're in a chair rather than laying down, maybe the other wakes him up to take over baby duty and urge him to sleep properly, or maybe covers him with a blanket or something? Is this a scheduled/planned for nap or is someone overworked? For the late night conversations tag, I admit I am so, so endeared to intimate and/or liminal elements of conversations happening late at night, no matter where, and the parenthood aspect added in for this is just so nice. And finally I like the "Parents and Baby Bonding" tag because it can be read as the parents bonding with the baby but also it can have an element of the parents bonding with each other, and I'd love if you leaned into that, especially if they're not together (yet)!

• Group Parenting

Okay, this tag is specifically because I want to mention that I'd be totally happy for the entire VCD (or at least the core cast of the movie, including or excluding Tim and/or Summer) to be taking care of whatever baby is in the story together. This could work especially well with some sort of non-human child they wind up taking care of or with the baby left on the doorstep of workplace tag, but feel free to play around with this idea! As long as Chau and Chung and their relationship get the main focus, it's all good.

• Unpartnered A Gets Baby; B Helps Take Care of Baby; They Get Together

This final tag is just a very straightforward outline that could be applied to a lot of the above tags as well. Either could be A, and in fact I'm totally fine with this being applied to "the VCD as a whole gets a baby and they all help take care of it," and either way something about them taking care of a baby together gets Chau and Chung closer and they get together. It might be a super simple storyline but I am a sucker for it and I'd love to see what you do with it with these two!

Canon-Specific DNWs

• permanent character death of requested characters (temporary is fine)

Canon-Specific Likes

• noncanon background pairings I actually enjoy if they happen to come up: Ginger/Kui(/M), Tim/Winter
• Tim/Summer is ofc also good in the background, feel free to just have Summer survive
• the entire concept of "human"/good jiangshi tbh
• other supernatural beings/creatures/things existing in this universe, especially if it's heavily locally cultural folklore based
• if you wanted you could absolutely do a pre-canon AU where they're the ones to raise baby Tim right after he's born and his parents die, for any of the prompts that allow for a human baby or even for an AU where he's born a jiangshi/half-jiangshi or something! (you can even have him be a baby ghost if you wanted. I don't mind. feel free to play around with the general idea if it strikes your fancy!) or just come with a general OC baby!
• nicknames! pet names! names in general! they seem to refer to one another as Chau and Chung (or sometimes, semi-sarcastically, "Uncle" Chung). do they always stick to that however close they are? do they ever call one another by first name, or shift over to doing so? does Chau ever call him Old Chung or old man/grandpa in the somewhat disparaging (but still fond) sense? does Chung ever call Chau by anything like Old Chau, Young Chau (or Ah-Chau), Young Chi (or Ah-Chi)? or does either absently or purposefully get affectionate, calling the other something like dear/darling or old man (in the boyfriend/husband sense...) or even one of the endearment forms of silly/fool/dummy/idiot? does Chung ever call Chau Master/Sifu like Tim does, just to refer to him as Tim's master, and does it hit different coming from Chung than when Tim calls him that? seriously, I love any type of this shit, go nuts!
• some exploration of sexuality stuff for these two! Chung has a granddaughter but no other family is mentioned; is he bi and is just seperated from his wife or she died, or is he gay and he just had a wife and child back before admitting it to himself/them and they separated after that? Chau seems to be a bachelor; is he gay or bi or does he think he's straight (but oops he's not)?
• if you're interested, I could like trans headcanons for either of these characters. for Chung I most like the idea of trans man, but nonbinary is also good, just not trans woman. for Chau anything goes, though, and anything is fine for any of the other characters as well! and of course trans headcanons aren't obligatory.